A week from today, I will be heading for She Speaks. I still am overwhelmed when I consider God’s tenderness in caring for me in disappointment, and then blessing me beyond what I could ask or imagine. Thank you, Lord, and thank you sweet sister!
As you can imagine there is MUCH to be done to get our family of nine ready. One daughter flies in tonight from a month of leadership training in Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Mexico. Another daughter flies in on Sunday from Nashville, TN after two weeks of music camp. Again, the generosity of others has made all of this flying around possible!
But, not only are we simply trying to get out of town, but I am trying to get a book proposal ready to pitch to a couple of publishers. This is no small feat. I am working hard to be faithful and at the same time to trust God. I am so excited about this project and I love everything about the writing process – research, study, praying over the words, hearing God’s voice as I write, believing that the message he’s given me has the impact to really transform lives. But, the reality is there is a deadline and I don’t know if I’ll be ready. Pray for me.
So, after almost of week of sore throat, achiness, and just not feeling right, yesterday afternoon was the kicker. As Bill and I talked with our amazing counselor about life, love, careers, and kids, my right ear began to throb all the way deep into my brain, or so it felt. (Perhaps too much detail, but I really want you to feel it with me. BTW, we unashamedly see a counselor just about every week and I highly recommend it.) So, you would think I would take a couple of Advil and go to bed, but, I went to Panera to kick some serious writing tail certain that I just needed to work through the pain. What is it with us women? Working through the pain didn’t work, and so this morning I gave in and called our doctor’s office.
I sat there saying, “You know, it probably will just go away, but we leave town in a week. It’s probably just viral. It’s not too bad in the morning. I can really handle it, but I just kind of felt like I should come in.” Why do we do this? Why couldn’t I just say, “It hurts” because it, in fact, hurts.
So, the nurse practitioner looked in my ear and said, “You’ve got an ear infection just like a little child and a sinus infection to boot.”
I don’t think this is what Jesus meant when he said, ” Unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
But, I do think Jesus has a message for me in this:
1. I need to not ignore pain but see it as a trigger for prayer and practicing Jesus’ presence in my life.
2. I need to learn to look Jesus in the eye, just like a little child, and simply say, “It hurts.”
3. I need to learn to raise my arms, crawl into his lap and rest, even when a deadline is looming.
He’s not surprised by my childlike ear infection. He’s not worried about the deadline. This really is his project and my job is just to be faithful. He can open whatever doors he wants.
So, gals, is there pain in your life that you’re ignoring? Do you need to stop trying to make the pain look pretty and just say, “It hurts?” Do you need to lay aside your serious tail-kicking agenda and just crawl into Jesus’ lap for some rest? His yoke is easy and his burden is light. Put it on him. And, if you leave me a comment, I’ll pray for you to do that very thing.