5 Markers of the Mentor to Avoid

When Cameron was a little guy he made a decision to follow someone he thought looked like his daddy.

Our family had gone to the mall. I was in the women's Belk while Bill was herding the cats through the men's Belk.  

Bill stopped to do a headcount and came up one short.  He counted again, still one short.  One more time … no Cameron.

With everyone sitting down, Bill begins to look through the racks and call Cameron's name.  Soon he drew the attention of other shoppers and store personnel.  He called me and I raced from my Belk toward his Belk stopping long enough at the info booth to give the security guy a picture of Cameron.

Before I could even make it into the men's Belk, I saw a security guard hoofing it toward me with Cameron in his arms.  Oh. my. goodness!

Cameron told us he followed Daddy out of Belk's and down to Sears to get a hammer.

But the thing was, the guy he was following wasn't his daddy.

For Cameron the outcome was okay.  The guy he was following wasn't an enemy.  He was just a tall, dark, but not nearly-as-handsome-as-my-husband guy who looked, to Cameron, a lot like his daddy.  

However, following the wrong person doesn't always have such a great outcome.

For many, 

of who I have often told you and now tell you even with tears,

walk as enemies of the cross of Christ.

Their end is destruction,

their god is their belly,

and they glory in their shame,

with minds set on earthly things.

Philippians 3:18-19

If you want to grow in your relationship with Christ, find a person to  identity is in Christ, who cultivates intimacy with Christ, and who impacts her world through Christ.  This is the type of mentor you want.

You do not want a mentor who is walking as an enemy of the cross.  

Here are 5 Markers of the Mentor to Avoid:

1. She is at the center of her life, not the cross.  She doesn't see the need for the cross.  And the last thing she would ever choose to do is pick up a cross.  

2. She doesn't get eternity.  She may be cavalier with a "better to reign in Hell" attitude. Or she may just be ambivalent. Or she may even think she's good enough to make it into heaven.   

3. She seeks to satiate her physical appetites.  Whether this is sex, food, or other physical pleasure, she is a hedonist in the classical sense of the word.  

4. She delights in telling you about her exploits. She brags about her fun and conquests.  She seems to delight in shocking you with her deeds and her language.  She talks about how free she feels.  She tells you that you're missing out.  

5. She focuses on getting as much in this material world as possible.  "The one who dies with the most toys wins" is her personal creed.  Shopping is one of her drugs of choice.  

Cameron landed back safely with us.  But following the wrong person doesn't always have such a positive outcome. 

If you want to grow in your relationship with Christ, avoid a mentor whose walk makes you wonder if she is a friend of God. Seek out a mentor whose identity is in Christ, who cultivates intimacy with Christ, and who is impacting her world through Christ.   

When you're looking for a mentor, what qualities do you look for?  What qualities make you go the other way?

You've joined us Riverside! Welcome! We're gathering here Monday-Friday going verse-by-verse through Philippians.  Just like Lydia and her friends gathered by the riverside for prayer, we're gathering.  Paul met these women and spoke with them telling them about Jesus.  Lydia's heart was opened and she paid close attention to what Paul said.  As a result, she was baptized, and then welcomed Paul and Timothy to stay in her home.  My hope is that Riverside will be a safe place where we gather just like Lydia and her friends to learn about Jesus.