Join Me in Being an Alongside Mom?

So, I'm trying a new strategy with my kids and it's kind of freeing for us all.When the kids get into the car after an Alexander kind of day ......complaining about this, whining about that, blaming everybody else for everything ... my tendency is to go head-on and address their attitude.But, time and time again, this causes their frustration to turn on me like the eye of Sauron.Do you know what I'm talking about?So, instead of being the head-on mom,  I'm learning to be the Alongside Mom. "Mom, my day was TERRIBLE. It was beyond TERRIBLE. This teacher did that. This friend said this. And you are not going to believe what happened during lunch.""Honey, it sounds like you had a pretty horrible day, an Alexander kind of a day in fact.""Mom it was more horrible than you can ever imagine." And then they keep telling me what made it so rotten  ... the teacher that doesn't "get" him, the friend who left her sitting by herself, the test that they failed.  No more eye of Sauron.  No more head-on mom. I'm the Alongside Mom. 

Does their attitude need to be addressed?  Sure.

Was their pretty rotten day worthy of this over-the top whining? No way.

Is everyone else to blame for their Alexander day? Absolutely not.

But right there in the car after a pretty terrible day, just being an Alongside Mom is pretty freeing for them and for me.   We can get to the attitude, and to the blame game, and to the procrastination, and whatever else they did when the rottenness of the day has been tempered by a little bit of empathy, and probably some chips and salsa.  Want to join me in being an Alongside Mom? 

A soft answer turns away wrath,    but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1