Are You Settling for Parallel?

Out of town for a get-away with just the two of us, Bill and I spent the first night in separate beds.  Seriously.With all the pressure of this past year, we had begun to settle for parallel.Do you know what I mean? Sometimes the demands of life require a season of parallel, of divide and conquer.But, if the season lingers, you are in danger of losing oneness. This is what happened with us.Heading into the get-away, we knew we needed connection. We knew we needed to work. And so, we had two brand new copies of this book with us.When we went to bed alone that first night, we each took our copy with us. Neither of us slept much. But we read, and underlined, and took notes into the wee hours.The next morning we began the hard work away from parallel and back to oneness.  Maybe your marriage is in a similar place. A season of divide and conquer is lingering. You're headed in the same direction, on parallel tracks even. But you miss oneness.If you realize that you're settling for parallel, here's what I'd suggest:

1. Buy two copies of His Needs, Her Needs, one for each spouse.

2. Read a chapter individually, mark it up, write in the margins “YES!” or “NO, this is not me at all," or whatever.

3. Answer the questions at the end of the chapter.

4. Meet and talk about it.

5. Work hard to make the necessary changes.

Life is hard. The demands are great. And sometimes the workload requires a season of parallel. But don't let the season linger. Don't settle for parallel.

They are no longer two but one. Matthew 19:6